You know when it is summer, and you sit out and you wonder how much sun you can get before you burn?

I know, even with my current vitamin D deficiency. I remember the sun. I can see my skin healing from a sun burn in slow motion and I can speed up the tape.

In my last session, I decided I could be at a “seven.” I decided I wanted to be a “seven” but that I would risk failing by saying it out loud. How worth the sun and the beach am I? A seven. How worth love and kindness am I?

A seven?

Scales are hard. It is hard to place ourselves and emotions on a scale. I can place my fear on a scale. And my discomfort. I can place disturbance on a scale. Easy.

I can place a meal I made or someone made for me on a scale. But honestly, if someone makes me a meal. It is always a 10, it is one of the most special feelings in the world when a friend, someone i love makes me a meal.

I do think it is interesting that the disturbance scale gets a 0-10 and the other scale, the one that is across the way, on the positive side, that one gets a 1-7. Is it so impossible to ever get a ten? Is that why they made it that way? Would noone ever say “10! I am a fucking ten on that scale today!” And so they didn’t even bother going that high? Is seven really that much more manageable?

That said, I don’t like scales, but I respect and am grateful for all the other elements of a session. Just saying. Scales are really hard.

I love the piano and music, and I like fish and dragons and lizards. And mermaids are incredibly fascinating. So, in case anyone/thing was offended… I don’t mean ALL scales. Okay? Just the ones that make me pick a number to rate or judge my emotions against.