Aislin ran within me
footprints on the walls of my intestines
breaking the best I could offer
But mostly hiding her under
the lined paper.
Coloring over her with the tip of my pen.
I saw her eyes shine and she was me.
The circle became clear.
All of the mistakes.
the failed attempts to protect and guide.
I didn’t see it before I felt it.
She held onto James
Then she dug though the tunnels.
Navigating miles of intestines.
Getting in the deep of my groin
Stretching like a buried wizard.
She said goodbye to James.
Spitting in her hand and rubbing it in between her legs with her tongue to the sky, heatheness
No longer petrified of all I denied her.
She didn’t want to stay still while he just skimmed the pages.
Sometimes his mind landing on a line he loved and another he hated.
Teachers come and go.
My sobs were half shapes
and I let them climb the current
to the ceiling tiles 20 feet above.
Aislin carried a jungle in a bag and
let it out as she raged
Rain fell and branch snaps echoed
in my abdominal cavity.
Her screams broke the canopy
I was safe, but was I?
Let her out let her live.
Let her cry let her feel.
Let her hate give her reasons.
Know she can’t tread water forever
The protector can protect
The crows have settled.
James took his last fake breath.