This last week, I decided to embark on a new learning journey focused on self discovery, the soul of humanity, divination, cosmos, what’s for dinner, etc. To all that know me, this won’t be much of a surprise. And I will tell you with certainty, that I dig this just as much as the last thing. (If anyone remembers what that was, let me know.)


While in the bathtub, I started thinking of Human Design (HD). I don’t know why because I knew really nothing about it, but I know someone—and my curiosity was piqued. I rarely ever have my phone in the bath, that night, I did. I reached out to friend and former colleague, Courtney Rousseau. She’s an intuitive Human Design Guide. You can find her in Indiana and on Instagram at the very awesomely named Atelier Rousseau.

To her delight, I was familiar with the word atelier. Rousseau, who is fluent in French and English, told me that people often think it’s her middle or maiden name. But when asked about why she chose the name she said it let her get messy. And who doesn’t like to get messy?

From her business name, we can clearly see she has a dedicated work spirit. Court also told me her Profile Type, a 6/3, is a design profile that loves trial and error, adding greater complexity to the choice of “studio”.

“Because Atelier means studio – it’s a space that’s allowed me to get messy and creative.”

Courtney Rousseau – Human Design Guide

The (bath)timing was perfect…she was just about to launch her class on HD.

And thus I was launched into….

Emotional Generator with two defined chakras (and seven open ones), we all have 64 gates and I have one channel, I am a 2/4 Profile and my strategy is to respond and my sign of alignment is satisfaction, and also if I am frustrated I am not self. Okay! Awesome! But what does all this mean?

Discovering the Human Design way means that we first come to a cross roads of different sacred systems. Multiple sources say HD is created from Yin and Yang, I Ching, Hindu-Brahmin Chakras, Western Astrology, Kabbalist Tree of Life…. some add Quantum Physics. I will add Biology, Metaphysics, Psychology, and Traditional Chinese Medicine (the connections between emotions and organs). I am sure we could keep going.

For example, psychology: from my brief study of HD, I felt like I was understanding parts of myself in ways no other theories had helped me to see. And by choosing to navigate this journey with a coach/guide, we are set up to recieve the support one might desire while working through issues of self discovery.

Perhaps the creator, Ra Uru Hu, took a blender and made the richest, creamiest, vegetable soup. It has a slight crunch from a bit of raw zucchini grated in at the end, heat from a serrano, and definitely Yukon gold potatoes….

Wait? What?

Oh yeah, Human Design now (soup later).

After many hours studying the material Courtney provided in the class, I took my fingers to the web and discovered the Jovian Archive. The Talking BodyGraph is an excellent place to dive deeper and provides audio. I love that Court also adds audio to her process by creating personalized voice memos.

While Ra was speaking about being a person with a defined Solar Plexus emotional center, I was marvelling about how his voice sounded like one of my Literature Professors and/or the first Doctor. Ra explained how living in, listening to, and making decisions from our emotional center [in the moment, in the wave] can cause us to get into our “not self”. Waiting helps keep emotional power from defining our lives… I didn’t really understand what this meant until I heard this next part:

Jovian Archive Media Pte. Ltd (2021). Talking BodyGraph. Retrieved June 11, 2021, from

“Most people think of HD as a quick fix. It’s really a process.”

Courtney Rousseau –Atelier Rousseau

Something I really wanted to know from Court was her favorite question from an FAQ session. She would love to discuss how to embrace discomfort while going through Deconditioning. She told me, “Most want to use HD as a quick fix. It’s really a process. HD can feel great when you’re in alignment, but sometimes you have to wade through discomfort and pain to get there.”

I want to make sure we don’t miss the nuance in this advice: processes take time. And to add a bit from the creator, Ra, it takes time “on our own timelines”.

The most fascinating things about Human Design, to me, are the discoveries of “the why” and “the how”. Sure, it makes perfect sense that having 7 of 9 open chakras would cause overwhelm and having an Emotional Center as my authority means that I might make decisions from an emotional wave and then regret said decisions. But why has this overwhelm always been so difficult? The secret to this lies in our charts.

What? Human Design can reveal that? I believe it does.

Something I have been valuing in “the how” lately is self compassion. The type of gentle and judgement-free solutions HD offers is a balm for our energy centers. I know that I am about to make big shifts without changing myself, but by becoming more authentic. Healed.

Open (or undefined) chakras (aka centers) are like crystal caverns. They bring in energy from the universe that doesn’t belong to us, and they’re permeable amplifiers. Powerful. They need cleansed and cared for as a healer would care for their cystal or other healing stone. If that’s not done, then centers get bogged down and perceived needs will create restlessness and doubt (defined by the affected center). In the end we’re conditioned, living in the middle of a burdened crystal cavern. Everyone we have met, including those who have tried to program us (however accidentally or purposefully), has potentially left vibes resonating in the walls of each undefined chakra (thus affecting our auras, too).

For example, the spleen is a chakra center that’s about holding on to what isn’t good for us. This is a chakra center for “Basic (Natural) Fears, Well-Being, Immune System, Intuition, Instincts, and Survival.”

So, 2020 happened. Right?

Along with the existing conditioning I must sort through, I worked as a CNA in a skilled nursing faclity and in Hospice. Two jobs I loved and left because I lost my physical ability to safely care for others. I was heartbroken when I left Hospice. For me, spleen is an undefined center. And I was spleen-deep in the fears that surrounded my patients and their families. The fears about the body that I learned in school. The fear of Covid-19, of the election and the divide, and the insecurity of leaving a job. And even as I type this I can begin to see the impact on other open chakras as well as the stress on my defined chakras.

Oh, shit! Brandy gives herself a hug and it feels so good! True self-empathy isn’t something she’s very familiar with AND she’s just discovered the reason I often feel fractured and does this third person thing (discussion for another day).

I am a roll of good paper towels who is starting to ring herself out, adding in the practice of becoming a washable rag instead. The model of HD can provide a sustainable self-care practice.

Dare I say “Finally”?

I do.

Right now, the most important thing is to give my spleen time and start sorting out my true fears from the rest. Working through that discomfort that comes before alignment.

Later, I will finish this class and schedule a 1:1 session with Court for a full chart reading.

Or… is it the easiest? Love you, Tom Petty!

This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It is not used to treat or diagnose any conditions. This blog post is non-affiliated, any monetary gain of others is coincidental and I am receiving no gifts or income from any sources.